Changes I Would Make To The About Page of "The Globe"
The Globe is a restaurant and bar in my small town of Berlin, Maryland. After browsing their website, I decided their “About” page could use a little upgrade.
Here is the original:
“Former home to The Old Globe Theater in downtown Berlin, Maryland, The Globe is a great place for lunch, dinner or Sunday Brunch. Under new ownership for 7 years now, Jennifer Dawicki breathed new life into the 100-year-old building in Historic Downtown Berlin. Salisbury University Alumni and friends, the group set to work in February of 2006 outfitting the building with a traditional kitchen, brand new Coppertop Bar and restored movie theater dining room. Now a sole proprietor Jennifer Dawicki remains true to the character of the building, hosting famous Murder Mystery Dinners and local art exhibits in The Balcony Art Gallery & Lounge, screening old-time films and hosting local, regional and national live music acts on stage.”
My first take away from this paragraph is that instead of it being more about the restaurant, it mostly talks about the owner. While this is fine, the information is outdated. Jennifer has owned The Globe for 13 years now, not 7.
Not only is the information incorrect, but I’m also not personally drawn to go to a restaurant because of the owner, I want to know about the restaurant itself.
After making a few changes, this is my version of The Globe’s about page. I mostly changed the content to be less about the owner, and more about the restaurant:
Berlin, Maryland is home to The Old Globe Theater, now known as The Globe, Restaurant & Bar.
This 100-year-old building in Historic Downtown Berlin is one of the best stops for delicious eats Tuesday - Sunday, year-round.
Known for its hosting of local, regional and national live music acts, The Globe also remains true to the character of the building hosting murder mystery dinners, a plethora of local art exhibits, and screenings of old-time films.
We look forward to seeing you at The Globe!
This exercise showed me that everything can be improved upon.
Even some of the best “About” pages can be tweaked.